All of these entries are the lyrics for the songs that can be found here: www.myspace.com/mysticyn

It hurts to breathe in
so much that I don’t wanna breathe out
I don’t wanna see that self-loathing look in your eyes
I don’t wanna hear that bitter nonverbal shout
I don’t wanna see you pick at the scab till it bleeds
I don’t want you to let out the unheard sob
I don’t wanna smell the rancid bile and blood
I don’t wanna lose sight of you, lost in the mob
I don’t wanna give in to the blackness I see
I don’t wanna forget the light on your face
I don’t wanna believe that there’s no good in me
but it all seems to vanish without a trace
and I’m terrified the next thing that I say
will just blow all we have away

I’m trying to lay still
but this trembling comes from inside
I can’t bear the thought of you breaking down alone
cutting or purging, they’ll say that’s how you died
and I stare into that great fathomless abyss
and I feel myself leaning over the edge
and all my insanity urges me on
but my body grips vice-like to the slippery ledge
and I wonder if this will consume us all
a nothing that pierces your mind and decays
and I pound and I pound on the walls of your heart
but my human hands cannot cause stone to break
and I’m terrified that the next move that I make
will just shatter everything in it’s wake

and I wake up screaming
in the darkness of my room
when you grab onto my mind
like a dying fetus in the womb
and your supermassive black hole
will never let go of my soul
until every last part of me is consumed

baby, I want you so bad
I never knew just what I had
until your ocean wave crashed over me
and washed all my insanity out to sea

I love the way your hair always gets into my mouth
your a prison babe and I'll never wanna get out
we can't finish a movie before we start making out
I say things to you I thought I'd never say out loud

baby, I want you so much
the way you look at me is such
an endless dream of numbing bliss
licking Stoli vodka off your lips

I love the way your face glows in the sparkling moonlight
I am Jack's urge to always lose the fight
if I fall asleep, I'm done for, your gonna have to keep me up all night
'cuz when the glitter wears off, babe, you'll still be bathed in light

baby, I want you true blue
all I ever think about is you
I know you'll exhaust me and wear me down
but at least I'll be next to you when I'm buried in the ground

I love the way your smell permeates everything I wear
you spend too much time sleeping in the devil's lair
and as the sugary waft of burning flesh thickens in the air
there's only one way to show you how much I really care

look at them out there
baby, they don't care
and they could never ever see
you belong in the shadows with me
baby, we don't belong here
but we're stuck here
and I'm not gonna lie
I'm gonna love you till we die

my heart is skipping a beat
walking through the cemetery grass in bare feet
and I feel your body heat
but the frozen darkness takes me under the sheet
and I fall into defeat
to the place deep inside you where a little girl weeps
they call the dead, "those who sleep"
but I still keep holding onto something I cannot keep

there's a man in a cave
and he's covered in chains
from his neck to his legs
and his unmotivation is plague
when the light goes out
I'm not gonna know how
to rekindle our friendship
I'm so cold without the fire of your lips

my heart is skipping a beat
walking through the cemetery grass in bare feet
and I feel your body heat
but the frozen darkness takes me under the sheet
and I fall into defeat
to the place deep inside you where a little girl weeps
they call the dead, "those who sleep"
but I still keep holding onto something I cannot keep

choking on a palpable silence
my eyes are filled with visions of violence
I feel like I'm treading on water
the flickering shadows of a slaughter
'cause you're something that I cannot resist
is my hairband still around your wrist
I hear the snickering of your laugh
I read the sentence cut down your calf
if I gave you a honey-scroll to eat
would you vomit it into the street
I hope you know that I'm your best friend
little baby before King Solomon
everybody wants to cut you in 2
I'm the only one who wants to save you
we're given the chance; we don't take it
our cubbie holes are stuffed full of blankets

my heart is skipping a beat
walking through the cemetery grass in bare feet
and I feel your body heat
but the frozen darkness takes me under the sheet
and I fall into defeat
to the place deep inside you where a little girl weeps
they call the dead, "those who sleep"
but I still keep holding onto something I cannot keep

I can't tell if I'm sleeping now
I just cannot stop dreaming about
our drunken Thanksgiving afternoon
every touch was like a static shock
while the vcr played "some like it hot"
and my brother slept soundly in the bedroom
when you put your trembling hand in mine
I begged God to freeze that moment in time
I'm not afraid of forever when I'm with you
if I'm stuck at work or driving in my car
it doesn't matter 'cause I know where we really are
... in that graveyard, we're digging up the tombs

and all I wanna do is devour you
but my conscience won't even let me begin
and I know your love for me is something you can't cut thru
but I want you to be happy
I want you to try and stay with him

my hand is on the knob to open the gate
I'm so scared that all this will evaporate
the moment I wake up from this perfect dream
and who's the constant initiator
when neither of us wants to wait for later
to find out just how loud you can scream
and the thing that really haunts me the most
is the spectre of your mother's ghost
as it hovers around us in a silver gleam
time flees away, all moments flow into one
everything is a blur when the bottle is spun
and when it points to me, I'll know what it means

and all I wanna do is devour you
but my conscience won't even let me begin
and I know your love for me is something you can't cut thru
but I want you to be happy
I want you to try and stay with him
I want you to try and stay with him

but then you're all I see when the room starts to spin

Elizabeth, you consume me
I've got boiled blood when I see your mother
I would confess all of my thoughts and deeds
but I know I'm not your lover
all the things you said are stuck in my head
I can't sleep at night I just lay in my bed
and nothing seems to change this sense of dread

Elizabeth, is this goodbye forever
I've fallen in and I'm bound to the stone
you once told me you wanted us to sleep together
but I know every single human being dies alone
I remember us passed out on the lobby floor
right next to where you straddled me like a drunken whore
and it's all my fault, if I never see you anymore

there's a ghost haunting us, everywhere we go
and I can't explain why I feel like everything is about to blow

Elizabeth, loving you is easy
but my veins will bulge when I see your sister
her desperation makes feel so uneasy
her knife is so close to the blood blister
you look out the window watch spring emerge
and that girl cannot control her suicidal urge
and you can't get it out, no matter how much you purge

Elizabeth, don't you lose control
if you blow your bangs, they'll just float back down to your face
you once told me I've got a beautiful soul
it's only 'cause you put something in it that nothing can erase
but I remember you crying in the breaking room
when everything in your life was like popped balloons
you couldn't just shrug off that icy feeling of doom

there's a ghost haunting us, everywhere we go
and I can't explain why I feel like everything is about to blow

In deep fixed breaths, the cold falling shivers
it stole the ability to hence go hither
no light shines on the absolute zero
the clenching, caniving in fear, anti-hero

I blame the one who steps foot in the path
and longing I will yearn for a final ending clash
but my curious eyes will pop the bubble of sanity
and threaten to expose the well-played fantasy

for what nails in the palm goes bleeding within
a rejecting of truth and accepting of sin
it's a blinding, undermining, whispy, chilling cold
after fires of perception flickered out under the folds

in fear, anti-hero tries to do good
but it makes cloaking the bearer an insidious hood
being haunted and chased by an anti-green it
ever finding, reminding what burning life is lit

I once thought that suicide was the object of my desire
but I see a kid with his head blown off and my mind is engulfed in fire
and I don't wanna lose control but the anchor of my soul
is slipping away
so baby don't let go, I'm permeated with cold
just tell me it's gonna be okay

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?

a child of God is hung on the crossroads of life and the flesh
and you'll always know that it's death when you breathe the last bit of air that's left
and I know the dead will be raised but that steely gaze
cuts right through my face
and they aren't even fazed those that suppose they're saved
when they haven't even had a taste

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?

a little boy that's in his bed is covered by a watership down
with the rabbit eyes gouged out as they suffocate underground
but when the spectre that flies turns to black face and red eyes
all creation hides in haste
and the earth flees away in fright, heaven is blanketed in night
until existance has no place

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?

Bottle me up till I explode
pissing all over my comode
the indecipherable urge will goad
me on to peel off the flattened toad
from the burning asphalt of the road
which will crack from the weight of the load
and I don't care if you ask me to leave
'cause I'm not really here if I don't breathe

kill the pain and shatter the glass
future erase, eradicate the past
blow out your brains, participate in class
till an icy rush and a cold blast
fills the room with faces aghast
as there stomachs turn into noxious gas
they say it's pointless, all these nightmares that I weave
'cause I'll live on and continue to breathe

see the man with the glass eyes
he walks around the graveyard and cries
and touches a tombstone where a body lies
with sticky fingers as the buzzing flies
fill his mind with dreams of half-truths and lies
were you once a person after you die?
and they tell the zygote after they've conceived
you're not really here if you don't breathe

all is vanity we say
as death brings the cholera today
at the funeral of the human play
the rainbow bridge burns into grey
and we delicately dispose of the remains
and we long for something lasting to stay
and I'm clinging for dear life to what I believe
'cause I don't have much time just to sit here and breathe

Angel I met you at the ring of the bell
walkin' the precipice, this side of hell
and as I recall, ya know I never could tell
just whether you saved me or whether I fell

'cause when I'm with you, I don't wanna eat, sleep, or draw in breath
'cause I'm trapped inbetween certain life and an uncertain cause of death

put the rose in the water, it'll drink till it dies
I'm locked out of the room, where a little girl cries
and the gold chain lies broken under sapphire skies
where you won't find any frogs, and no eagle flies

and all I know is you won't let me touch you until you get high
tell me when did you decide in your mind, somewhere along the line, to switch sides

and so you want me to be completely honest with you...
I feel every ounce of pain that you go through

I'm resigned to my fate as Leiland takes me away
from where the bent curtain rods and the tear-soaked flannel lay
and the packers they carry fudge up from the depths of dismay
thinking if I go back, how long will I stay?

so just do me a favor, don't send me anymore of those stupid emails
'cause it all ends with a stomach tear and bitten fingernails

I see Adam's face, I'm full of bulletholes too
here comes the lord of the land, ya know the rent is due
and ya know there ain't nothin' baby that I wouldn't go through
if I knew I'd spend forever, forever with you

and my spirit will shake, for what I know will always come to pass
when I look in your eyes will I know that our love will always last?

and so I will be completely honest with you...
I want to take every ounce of pain from you

He was a clean cut kid
he didn't leave any scars
he was so easy to break
he was her little mason jar
so fun to cover
his mind was like a steel trap
slicing through hot butter
his super model rat
was anorexic fat

why do I always ask such stupid questions
to which I already know the answer?
was whatever the word that counted down to zero?
or do we all in the end get brain cancer?

he would use the belt
then fall crying to the ground
but she was the only one
who would kick him when he was down
but he'd get right back up
and carry her to the funny farm
all wrapped up, she bled
as she lay crying in his arms
feeling so safe from harm

why do I always ask such stupid questions
to which I already know the answer?
did you ever know that he was once my hero?
but is a cold corpse really an answer?

You made her write signatures on her wrist
she ends it all not knowing what she'll miss
you used her to destroy her

she loved you
she trusted you
she came to you
and you used her up
and her empty shell left you...
but your name is still on her wrist

you made her watch rape scenario porn
what part of her mind has not been torn
you abused her to enjoy her

but she loved you
she trusted you
she came to you
and you used her up
and her empty shell left you...
but your name is still on her wrist

I know you can't pay attention for long
so I'll make this a short and simple song
though I almost feel sorry for you, too
hatred was made for people like you

'cause she loved you
she trusted you
she came to you
and you used her up
and her empty shell left you...
but your name is still on her wrist

You are the rose that's been kissed by the rain
why do you thirst for my puddle of pain
do not forsake the love that you have found
I am only just a ghost in this town

this hidden rain is melting me inside
I love you much more than just saying goodbye
but my heart belongs to the desert sky
and I hate you just enough to make you cry

the more things change, the more things stay the same
the more I change, the more I feel this way
like I'm on a road to nowhere from somewhere strange
and I still believe that something will change

this hidden rain is melting me inside
I love you just enough to make you cry
but my heart belongs to the desert sky
and I hate you much more than just saying goodbye

and I live for the hour he takes you home
for with you he takes the ageless unknown
but I don't think I could take watching you go
'cause I'm wanted dead or alive
and I'm captured as both

this hidden rain is melting me inside
I love you much more than not asking why
but my heart belongs to the desert sky
and I hate you just enough to lay down and die

this scarlet ribbon-tied lock of my hair
will always remind you that once I cared

Soy asesino escondito
vivo el pantion del castillo
con vampiros

soy vampiro con un alma
tengo mucho sueno como chupacabra
quiero morir con salma

batame hasta que grito
yo necesito esta yo necesito
quiero contiga como pescado

soy asesino escondito
vivo el pantion del castillo
con vampiros

So I went out of the city
and I sat on the east side in a phone booth
and I sat there contemplating the shadow
so that I might see what would become of truth
and the Lord God prepared a gourd
and He made it to come up over me
that it might be another shadow o'er my head
to deliver me from my grief

but then God prepared a worm before the morning arose
which smote the gourd and made it die
and it came to pass that when the sun did arise
that a vehement wind blew across the desert sky
and the sun did beat upon my head
and I fainted and wished myself to die
and I said, "it's better for me to die than to live"
"and observe vanities and lies"

and God said, "doest thou well to be angry"
and I said, "I do well to be angry even unto death"
and God said, "thou hast had pity on the gourd"
"for which thou hast not laboured nor given breath"
"which came up in a night"
"and perished in the sand"
"should I not spare those who cannot discern"
"from there left or their right hand?"

You shoot me with your pistol eyes
and stab me with dagger lips
you poison me with toxic words
blown away by bomb fingertips

I take bullets with tender blues
I bear a blade with skin
I ingest ricin tongues with drums
I recieve shrapnel within

you drop your magnum iris flames
steel drips blood on your saddle
ya know you can't tame flies inside eyelid gums
palms freeze the heat of battle

will you reload with lightning clips
and get a handle on death
and channel flapping mustard gas
where your claws explode like breath

you shoot me with your pistol eyes
and stab me with dagger lips
you poison me with toxic words
blown away by bomb fingertips

My mouth is full of cotton
my stomach makes me sweat
and I have no strength to raise the glass
and get my whistle wet
and at the same time I'm drowning
as the liquor falls like rain
I think it's time I changed my addiction
and meet with Mister Payne

I'm bumming smokes off children
with yellow fingertips
and it's so damn smooth as it all melts away
when my lungs are lit
but nothing has a smell
covered in nicotine stains
and I think it's time I changed my addiction
and meet with Mister Payne

Bobby's trees are burning
thoughts are so hard to think
and there's nothing there behind my eyes
when they turn the darkest pink
but there ain't nuthin' funny
trapped here inside my brain
and I think it's time I changed my addiction
and meet with Mister Payne

my best friend screws my sister
condoms float in the can
as I make out with high school girls
who get upset when I tell 'em I'm not their man
but the sounds of fornication
have driven me insane
and I think it's time I changed my addiction
and meet with Mister Payne

I sleeping in my car
there's blood on the passenger seat
I drifted around that hairpin turn
and straightened out into a tree
and now my engine is blown
too much octane
thank you for breaking my addiction
goodbye Mister Payne

Everytime I see your ghost come a-hauntin' around
it's like I bear a crushing weight
with your synthetic pills that keep you inches above the ground
and your apathetic face

but I won't let you drag me down
I wasn't the one who paid for this diamond and rust crown

as a little girl, I used to ask Jesus for scarlet ribbons
but instead he gave me you
but the way you hold that medicine bottle like truth is all opinions
it makes me wanna cry out to you

that God is the only thing that could ever satisfy
whatcha gonna do when the only thing left is that empty look in your eye

the shade of crimson your face turned in the cold winter air
the sound of water hitting porcelein in the bathroom light glare
compared to the now trance-like hypnosis of your stare
it's a burden of chains and padlocks that I can hardly bear

will you forever sail into that setting sun
and be drownded in the tide
and convince yourself eternally that it was all for nothing
that "some guy" was crucified

or will you see the dangerous love he had for you
and that some silly little girl feels that same love for you, too

Smile awhile, drain your black bile
there's only two miles 'fore we'll be getting home
the things you've been thinking
the ships you've been sinking
say you'll come, but you never will go

and I can see all the familiar faces
in the firelight of an open door

if you should wander or feel you would squander
the years by walking the hard roads alone
just where you are a-goin'
you'd have no way of knowin'
till you find the road that leads you to home

smile awhile, though it's not your style
it's been awhile since you've made your happiness known
when all the masks come off
memories get the dust off
and you'll see what's engraved in the stone

and I know there'll be so much to talk about
and my heart like a hawk will soar

all the sweet compassion, love everlastin'
the hand on the wheel, the engine winds blown
down this country road
I'm gonna lay down my load
when back to the nest I have flown

smile awhile, laugh like a child
there's only one mile 'fore we'll be getting home
the things you'll be thinking
the beer you'll be drinking
will ask you why you ever did go

and I can feel the warmth of their hands
and I'll ask what I didn't ask before

how long did I wander, how long did I sqander
the years by walking the hard roads alone?
just where I was a-goin'
I had no way of knowin'
till I found the road that led me to home

Billy sees the wall holes
the gatorade pile goes
up to the ceiling
it's hard to see what he's feeling
when the screen screams yahoo
to fantasize a tie ball
game in the tradeoff
throw up another firewall

who am I?
just pie in the sky?

I gotta email apology
and open up the scar wound
and ask for introspection
from disco stu
into lyrical sanity
tangled up in the beisner blue

Freedom mails back vague
traces of a broken leg
wash me with a dirty rag
and watch the puppy tail wag
excited in the dog house
Freedom in a clean blouse
says I need a head douse
straight from the horse's mouth

who am I?
just another guy?

I gotta end my old life
practice with a blunt knife
the black girl asks me with strife
"is that woman your wife?"
and try to end your old life
when you take away my blunt knife
and give it back so you can go
and try and find some more night

think hard think soft
way to turn your brain off
just when I think you've had enough
you try to make me turn and cough
ride the bus get cussed
don't touch my knee
can't ya leave well finally
why can't ya do it quietly

who am I?
not my inner thigh!?!

but farm girl violence
it seeps through the armed world
there is no silence
she acts like she likes me
when she wants to fight me
escape to the highlands
and try to close my eyelids
just shut out this crazy kid

and hard rain slow pain
deep lax no pax income tax
no air high fare
don't try to really care
melt ice melt snow slush cone
can't scream can't moan
why all you people
just leave the snowman alone

who am I?
am I just living a lie?

I'm lost inside the guidemap
climb upon her wide lap
and try to take my nap
combination cry/slap
I guess I better leave
I won't dry tears on your sleeve
it's just I cannot take
all these fly traps in the mind crap

She came from the Hat T and Double Bar
She wanted to die, but Gary kept her in a jar
we'll maybe Mr. Mitchell isn't blind to who we really are

I had just come from Franklin, or some military base
and all she did was study the lines in my face
we'll, babe that's what ya get when ya fall from outer space

I know angels don't play this harp
but Team Blackbeard won't even let me start
and Alexis made sure she was blunt
to maintain his gamma ray front
to try and keep it up my nose and implant my feet

it's strange how this techno flying saucer fear
has gotten more sophisticated over the years
sometimes you smell a rat before you see it hiding behind your mirrors

I know angels don't play this harp
but Team Blackbeard won't even let me start
and Alexis made sure she was blunt
to maintain his gamma ray front
to try and keep it up my nose and implant my feet
keep it up my nose and implant my feet
keep it up my nose and implant my feet
keep it up my nose and implant my feet
keep it up my nose and implant my feet